Cardinal Law of Communication

          There is one cardinal rule of life that most of us often falter, be it at home, office, relationship, friendship and at many other walks of life, which have not been penned down here, we often talk about each other and not talk to each other. Let me put this cardinal rule of communication straight for you “Let’s talk to each other and not about each other”. It is the simplest thing but unfortunately least practiced. The moment you start discussing your relationship, it is the time, you have disturbed the equilibrium of the chemistry that your relationship shared. The more you discuss with others, more is the negativity creeping in, and faster the equilibrium tips off. Communication over an issue is like plugging a gap, through which all the negative energy could sweep in and corrode the age old relation or a friendship for that matter.

          In the present day scenario, we say, a mother-in-law can never be a mother and daughter–in-law can never be a daughter. But have we carefully examined the fact, that, both of them with the slightest of first opportunity start discussing their respective in-laws with their mother, daughter, friends and others, unknowingly attracting all the negative vibes in to their relation. Tell me one thing. Has any mother ever discussed her daughter with anyone and vise versa? The answer is a big NO. And hence there is no room for any kind of negativity in this mother-daughter relationship. The same relation turns out to be the weakest, when it comes to mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relation, because they go discussing each other at every step with everyone possible. And do not make even a miniscule effort to follow the shortest route to communicate with each other.

         The amount of negative energy, one would draw towards oneself, around or into the personal life depends upon how frequently this cardinal rule of communication is flouted. Like the law of Gravitation, this law of communication is also a universal law. Irrespective of size, shape and weight, if a thing falls the law of gravitation applies itself.  Similarly the cardinal rule of communication is also applicable to all, be it a person, state or a country. Nations like India and Pakistan have fought many wars in past fifty years and still continue to wage low intensity conflict across the borders. Both these countries ever since independence have been flouting the cardinal rule of communication, instead of resorting to straight dialogues, both the nations can be heard loud discussing each others actions in UN, SAARC and various other summits. Before the agenda could be conceived for a successful dialogue process, it gets derailed over petty issues or under external provocation. On the other hand the countries like East and West Germany through dialogue paved way for German reunification over Berlin wall.          

          I am sure, if Nathu Ram Godse had walked upto Gandhi ji to communicate, his disbelief would have got arrested and Indian history would have had couple of more years with Baapu. The absence of communication in any form, in a relationship, is like devoiding a  body organ of essential blood supply, in the absence of  which, it is eventually bound to rot.  The fastest and easiest way to clear the air of doubt is to form a direct communication. After all “Bol ne mein kya jata hai".   

          

The Lost Bracelet

The LOST BRACELET

It was like any other evening, when me and my wife Shweta had gone to Shiv temple for darshan. It was dusk and an absolute serene environment. The familiar soothing tunes of bhajan from the loud speaker breached the silence to reach ears. Sitting in the temple my mind was preoccupied with the junk thoughts, as I was getting late for a congregation, which my boss was to attend. Albeit I was physically in the temple, but mentally calculating the pros and corns on being late, my mental absence in temple was to the extent of thinking of an alibi for being late. Suddenly I realized, pandit ji was preparing for evening aarti. I looked at my watch and found, I was actually racing against time. If I attended the aarti, I would definitely be late for the official function. The inner voice in me rose to the occasion and said “ I was at the Gods door step, it would be kind off insulting Him, in-case I left the prayer halfway”. But the clever mind of mine had a counter view to that, it argued, I had come for a darshan and I had done that. Moreover, God would understand but Boss wouldn't  The latter argument over shadowed the former and I left the temple at the brink of commencement of the aarti.

Me and my wife reached for the official gathering well in time, as we commingled with the crowd, in a few minutes, my wife came to me appearing perplexed, eyes wide open, she spoke with a heavy voice“ I have lost my Gold Bracelet”

I said “ what?”

“are you sure you wore it , when you came to the party” I said.

She said “ yes 100 percent sure”

Without wasting even a minute, we excused ourselves. Since temple was the last place we had visited, both of us rushed back to the same spot where we had sat down. To our dismay, we couldn't find the bracelet. The aarti was still going on and almost on the verge of culmination. It was a well lit place frequented by the masses, so in case, if she has lost it here, chances of its retrieval appeared bleak. Notwithstanding that, making a fair attempt both of us asked almost everybody in the vicinity, but nothing to gain. With a heavy heart  both of us headed back, on the way, we decided to go home and confirm, if it was still laying in the safe and the feel of having worn it to the party was a mere subconscious feel. When she didn't find it at home, her last hope of finding it drowned, she had a long drawn face, I could see the tears trickle down her cheeks. Her dearest piece of jewel was no more traceable.

Sitting on the sofa, I pondered over the sequence of events once again. I realized, it couldn't have fallen in the temple, had it fallen there, we would have definitely heard the metal knocking the tilled floor and the bracelet wasn't at home either. A thought appeared to me, that the only place we hadn't checked was in the parking where she first got down from the car. “ lets go to the parking lot” I  said.

“ Why” she said.

I said “that’s the only place we haven’t checked”. I explained my thoughts to her. And the search once again began, as we approached the parking area, from a distance in the headlight beam, I spotted a shine on the ground. I stopped the vehicle and asked her to move up, and check, if it was her bracelet. Her loud scream “ Milgaya” ended this high voltage drama. And we then moved in to the party hall  to actually party hard.

I got the divine message “ obeisance before the God has to be with sincerity”. Looking in the chronological manner into what had happened unfolds the message. I had actually left the aarti giving preference to reaching in time, before the boss arrives, over my submission to the Almighty. But see the act of supreme power, I had to leave the gathering  without meeting the boss, to rush back to the temple, only to attend the aarti that was still going on which I had left in between ( as if I had been recalled back to the temple). And then again a mere thought took us to the place of bracelet. Some people would call it a sheer coincidence, but with this incident my belief was reinforced that divine power has His own ways of teaching a lesson and passing message. It’s up to us to understand the hidden message. Whenever there is a such message, one can hear it through the inner voice, this voice doesn't have sound, and instead it has a sound message.      

Know Your "Why"

Know your “Why”

Know your ‘Why’ or more apt would be, do you know your “Why”. In this fast track life, all those who lose focus from “Why” and drift towards “How” often get left behind in the race of progress. While we focus our telescopes on the “Hows” of life.  How to get money? How to get a job? How to establish a business? How to build a house?  Seldom we realize a simple thing, that all those who have succeeded in life, they have always pondered over the “Whys” of life rather than the “ hows”  to meet  an end. They have been always convinced beyond doubt about their “why” and knew that the “how” would automatically follow. I know it’s not making much sense at this moment. It would be much clearer as we unfold ahead. Ambanis’ the business tycoons, after their eminence in the Textile industry moved towards Telecom and Refinery industry, but by no means  they  possessed any form of technical expertise to establish a foot hold in any of these fields. With the clarity of “ Why” in their mind, they knew for “how to establish” they would hire people, who would establish it  for them. So, a person who knows the “Why” would always be at a higher pedestal than the person who knows the “how”. In a correct perspective, a person who knows “how to do” would always work for the person who knows “ why to do”. Thus we see “Why” takes precedence over “How”.

          In a lucid manner, we can understand it as, a Civil Engineer who knows how to erect structures would always work for a person, who knows why to build structures, unless this engineer himself has a vision of his own, “why to build”, he would continue to work under someone.

          We must  answer the questions of life in terms of “why” rather than “how”. The “how” is seen by the short sighted people and the answers to which exhaust in a very short span. Where as your “why” is like an investment in a blue chip company lasting in the long run with compounding returns. Always, be a part of the bigger picture, posses the ability to think analytically to perceive the larger objective, unless done so, the distinction would never be achieved.   

          I am sure, the epitome of charity, mother Terresa, never looked towards the “ how” but she had a formidable “why”  for the cause, and today we have millions of people who are making things happen for her charitable trust. 

          Even the history is testimony to this fact, there were people who toiled day and night to build Taj Mahal as one of the finest creation of mankind.  And today, the world doesn't remember the man, who laid the final stone, but remembers Sahajhan, who conceived it in his “why”.

          Whether our domain is microscopic or capacious, if we can infallibly address the “whys” the answers to the “Hows” would automatically fall in place and then the transcendence in life is for sure. Therefore know your “Why” clearly and you will find people, who know, how to make it happen for you.