Wednesday, 5 June 2019

Many Manifestations Have No Answers

It has been eleven years since this incident happened. It's still fresh in the my memories and deeply ingrained in my thoughts and I think it would ever remain till I would live.  I thought of penning it down for it to go down in the annals of time for future generations to know that "many things don't have  answers". On 26 Mar 2008 I had lost my father in  AF Hospital, it was a silent tragic cardiac arrest which took him away from us. The last rites could not be performed as we all were still waiting for my brother to fetch up from Srinagar. It had been two days since we had lost him, I decided to visit the AF Hospital to meet the doctor to find out what had actually happened on that day, as the things had  unfolded in a manner beyond my comprehension. When I reached the Hospital, I parked our car at the preferred place of parking under the shade of a banyan tree, which was our preferred place for parking because of it's shade. Having met the doctor, when I was returning, I looked at the ICU, where I had left my father last and at the same time I had a strong feeling from inside that " I am here my son and the car will not start". I don't know how and why I got this thought, but  somehow this was the strongest  feeling, I would have ever had in my life for any thing. While going through all these thoughts, I reached at the car in the parking, as I reached out for the key and fixed it in the ignition hole, my heart was not wanting the car to start to acknowledge my Dad's presence,  but I knew feelings have no place in the realm of physical world and my mind  was not in agreement to to the feelings. As I cranked the  engine, it went blank as though no power. I tried it twice thrice and the result was same, I did not know, what was happening, I opened the bonnet of car and checked for leads and fuses, all appeared to be intact, I made another attempt but in vain.  Not able to understand what was happening, I took out my mobile and called up my cousin to fetch a mechanic. About an hour later cousin came with the  mechanic and fixed the fault. On my inquiry he told me that there was no fault, he just tightened the battery post terminals. But I knew what had happened which defied all logics of the world but I didn't share it with him, because I did not know how to explain and hence I kept silent. Though Hindu mythology states that till the last rites are done the soul remains attached to the world but being an engineer my mind contradicts to ask can souls manifest actions in the physical world, its a question that remains unanswered, left part of the brain logic center says it can't be, but the right side of the brain emotional center says there are enough examples in the world which even greatest scientists have not been able to answer despite of their years of experience.
My  brother arrived that evening and I shared this experience with him. Next day we had to go and get father's body for last rites, I along with my brother and elder cousin brother had gone in his Mahendra Bolero to do official formalities at the Hospital. On my return from Administrative block of Hospital, a similar thing happened, I came across the ICU and the feeling again struck me " I am there and the car will not start" , incidentally the  cousin's Bolero, I had got it parked at same place as that of yesterday under the banyan tree in parking. From the distance I signaled my cousin to get the vehicle towards me as the paper work had been done, he acknowledged my signal, however there was no movement of his vehicle, after about a minute  or so of wait, I walked up to him and my cousin said " vehicle is not starting"  I was far too sure that it was Dad around, I knew it can not be explained by any law of science but as a son I could feel him around. It was this place that I left him last and there were many things, I still had to cherish with him, God took away that chance from me a bit early, I am not saying that  there is ever a right time for it, but probably I feel, I deserved a bit more.  A little later the vehicle started and my cousin informed me that it was a loose connection at  battery terminal, but in heart of heart I knew again that what it was. The vehicle started and we left AF Hospital, leaving behind the memories and feeling dad's presence for the last time and "knowing that many things can't be explained, they can only be felt". 
After that incident I had been to the AF Hospital numerous times with my mother and parked the car at the same place and not even once, that I ever got that feel again. I am sure his pious soul is resting somewhere in the peace or in a new form started the journey to life all over again.